


Dancing On My Own

by CharlotteGoldfinch



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Also first time i have done m/m in like 5 years so no nsfw yet, Bisexual!Tyler, Descriptions of Jenna but no actual mention of her name, Gay Male Character, M/M, My first time in the fandom writing joshler so be kind pls, POV First Person, That'll be coming soon tho dont worry, ily all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8673898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlotteGoldfinch/pseuds/CharlotteGoldfinch
Summary: Tyler has a casual date at a club. Josh for some dumb reason was convinced to go along on their date. Josh loves Tyler and he's a little pissed he didn't get chance to tell him.
[Read from Josh's POV because I can't write 3rd person orz]





	

I should have told him. I should have fucking told him right then and there when we released the album and before we blew up into the big world. Maybe I wouldn't be standing here in a dark club, all alone, whilst he's dancing with his girl. It broke my heart to see them standing there but if I told him I would probably have never gotten the chance with him because he's never really shown an interest in other guys before. Maybe that's why I couldn't tell him. It's why I didn't tell him.

Sure we've been comfortable and sure we've been friends for almost 7 years now but that's just what we are - best friends, nothing more and nothing less. Only... he's different. To me, he's different. Tyler Joseph is different to me. I have a crush on Tyler and my own pathetic heart and mind couldn't get that courage to tell him. And now it was too late.  I'd never get a chance to say how I properly felt about him. If I told him post show he'd probably forget and if I told him when I was trashed out of my head drunk he wouldn't belive me.

But if I told him while he was still with...her... he'd probably desert me. Call me jealous, a freak, say I was being ridiculous and probably go and tell everyone that if there was the slight inclination of him believing me, that his best friend was in love with him. Or he'd tell me that I'd find someone else one day, somebody else I'd click with and have fun with and get to know. But I didn't want somebody else. I want him. He's all I have ever wanted.

And now they're over there on the dance floor and the song is coming to an end. They're still looking into each others eyes and it should be me, damn it, looking at him, getting that doof laughing and smiling. I should be out on that dance floor with him but no, I'm sitting like a coward in the back of the dance club, drowning my sorrows in what seems like endless jagerbombs.

They're coming back to the table and she's wrapped around his waist, pouting and saying how much she wants to go back out onto the dance floor, but Ty is saying how he needs to catch his breath and that he'll go back when he's rested a few minutes. He tells her to go order a round of drinks for the table from the bar and sends her off with his credit card, but not before kissing her and God, it makes me want to gag and throw up right there and just storm out because... I should be in her position. Then we're alone. Just the two of us. As it's supposed to be. But as it won't ever be. 

Shit, he's talking to me. Now what. Fuck! What did he say?

"Huh? Sorry. Too loud! Speak up," I say, hoping that was enough of an excuse. But instead of speaking up he leans in and tries not to shout into my ear.

"You've been quiet and sitting here all night. You're really missing out on all the fun. Come join us next time we go to the dance floor, yeah? Maybe we can hook you up with one of the girls out there." He jabs my side a little, and tries to get me to laugh.

One of the girls... yeah... "I don't know. I'll look so out of place. The entire floor is covered in couples and groups. I don't wanna intrude on your fun. I'll be fine back here." Just me, myself and the endless stream of empty jager glasses on the table in front of me.

"No, I won't have it, you're going to come out onto the dance floor with us and have a good night out. You've been mopey ever since we started dating. She's not stolen me from you, you know. We're still best buds, you're still in the band, it's not like she's replacing you."

"Tyler look... it's not that I don't want to go out there..." I'm about to confess everything to him and then she comes back, she's holding a tray. Champagne, shots, Red Bull. She passes the credit card back to Tyler and she sits practically in his lap as she takes her drink from the tray, passing me a can of the Red Bull. I think I hear her say "Thank you" and then some other lovey-dovey crap and I hide a scowl behind my hand as I open the can of drink in front of me.

"What were you going to say, Josh?"

"Ty I'm fine. Honestly. You just...go out and have fun, okay?" I hope I've said enough to spur him away from the topic and then he's deterred, squealing as one of her favourite songs starts playing over the sound system. 

"Come dance with me, Tyler! You know it's my favourite! Please!" She's like a persistent toddler, begging for her own way. He always loses the fight, though. He never gets to just sit and relax. He has to follow what she says and it annoys the crap out of me. Her way or the highway. I'd never do that to him. I'd always let him have his say and his own power to do what he wants. 

She's off like a light to the dance floor and Tyler starts to stand up. "You coming, dude, or what?"  
I shake my head. "Nah... I'll be...I'll be okay here," I murmur.  
He sits back down and looks at me. "Well I'll stay here too. Because you're my friend and besides, it's her favourite song, not mine." He laughs and reaches forward, opening a can of Red Bull and toasting my can. "To friendship."  
"To...friendship," I repeat, half smiling.

We sit in silent for a few seconds and then a few minutes and then the song ends but she doesn't come back to the table. Tyler is a little too wasted to care and I never cared for her in the first place.  
"Ty?"

"Yeah?"

"There actually is...something I wanted to tell you."

"What's that? You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah... I know... I just don't know if I should tell you this, though."

"Just do what your heart says to do. Take your time."

So I sit there, trying to gather my words and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. " _Ithinkiminlovewithyou._ " It all comes out jumbled into one long word and I'm not entirely relieved when he laughs.

"What? I didn't understand a word of that. Say that again, man."

"I... think... I'm in love with you..." I wait on tender hooks for him to laugh, or for the seat to become instantly lighter. Or maybe for the air to become thinner so I can just pass out on the table. Nothing has been more painful than confessing your love to a friend...especially one who has a girlfriend. 

But when I open my eyes he's still sat there and he's almost processing what I just said to him. "You love me? You're in love with me? Josh... why was that difficult for you to say to me?"

"Because...you're... not single. You've got a girlfriend... you're not..."

"Gay?" He laughs a little. "I might have a girlfriend, and I might not be single, but I am however...still available for you. If the time comes around, that I end up being single again, just know one thing. And that one thing...is that I'm bi. And you'll always be able to have a chance with me. Maybe not now, but you'll get a chance one day."

It feels like my heart is about to explode from my chest. He's just told me...indirectly...that he likes me too. And if I like him and he likes me then we have a chance together and I couldn't be happier at that.

My smile is starting to feel like its splitting my face and I take a look around, I still can't see her, and I'm personally beginning to think she's either of two places: in a taxi cab on the way home, having ditched him because he didn't dance with her or she's on the dance floor still, surging her body to the music and having a good time, waiting for him to go join her.

"So, what do you say now? Gonna come and dance?"

"Yeah... yeah I am."

We both down our cans, stand up and both go to the dance floor, and we're both equally surprised to not see her on the dance floor.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom," Tyler shrugs, and a soppy slow song comes on the sound system. If she was here he'd be dancing with her but it's just me and him. And he instead ends up draping his arms around my shoulders and swaying, pinning his forehead against mine. It's filling a slight hole in my heart and it makes me feel like I have more than just a chance, it makes me think I've got him. He's mine and I'm his.   
The end of the song comes and we're still in each others arms and she still hasn't come back. So we just enjoy the closeness and another 5, 10, 15 minutes pass.

And she's still not back after 20 minutes. Tyler's getting worried now and he's wondering where she's at. He asks one of the girls going into the bathroom to check for her. He tells her that she's tall and she has blonde hair and tells the girl her name. She's in there for a few minutes and then comes out. She's alone and she's got a sad look on her face.

"I'm sorry, she wasn't in there. Nobody has seen her either."  
She ditched him. All because he didn't go dance with her. Just then his phone buzzes with a text, it's from her. He doesn't make an effort to hide the text, but I make out the bare minimum. She's told him that 'she had a great time' with him but 'she didn't think they hit it off as well as she had hoped'. Tyler shows no remorse or no guilt, continuing to scroll the paragraph and she's also typed, 'I hate to come across like a bitch by texting you the news, but there will be other people.'

Now I'd be lying if I said my face didn't light up reading that line. But truthfully my heart did hurt a little for him. But Tyler just locked his phone, deciding to forget about her for tonight. Almost deciding to forget about me as well. I coaxed him back out to the dance floor but he didn't stay for long, walking back to where I was sitting back in the corner.

She hurt my beat friend and I was mad about it, but there was really nothing I could do because I felt it was all my fault. I had been the mopey shit sitting in he corne, drowning my sorrows and preoccupying his thoughts. I don't know why I went out. It was his time to be happy and have a relationship. I ruined it.

So here I stood, on the dance floor, happy couples and groups around me every which way I turned.  
But me?  
I was just standing there. I was just dancing on my own...


End file.
